The Narrative: The Death of Liam Payne

Pop star Liam Payne tragically passed away last month. I’m sorry for the pain that all his friends, family, and fans are feeling. As I said last year, the death of a celebrity can evoke a range of emotions and memories, which is why, as fans, we mourn part of our lives and memories that those celebrities represent. Please don’t come at me, but I was never a One Direction fan! To be honest, I’m not really a pop girl. I did, however, feel a sense of sadness about his passing—not just because he was so young, but because he was a fellow ADHDer.

I don’t appreciate Liam Payne’s death being blasted on my FYP (For You Page) not because I don’t care, but because I find it incredibly disrespectful to his friends and family. I wish the media and some members of the public would allow people to simply rest in peace. We don’t always need to have an opinion on everything. I sometimes feel the world today has lost all common sense and human decency. I was saddened to see comments like, “He did drugs, so that’s on him,” because, in reality, that is so far from the truth.

While we may all have our own opinions, there is one that I felt needed to be debunked. I understand why people may feel this way about Liam Payne and others, but I’m compelled to explain one of the struggles behind ADHD.

One of the symptoms (and consequences) of ADHD is addictive behaviour. To continuously get that dopamine rush, we use an anchor, which contributes to creating addictive behaviours. No, this is not an excuse, but a simple explanation. Living with a constant struggle of a lack of executive function leads ADHDers to finding a substance that gives a "high" to carry on. My substance of choice was coffee. There was a time when I used to drink around 6 to 7 cups per day. They gave me the boost to carry on with my daily activities.

We all have a way to cope. Much of the world is addicted to sugar. I was addicted to coffee, and Liam Payne struggled with alcoholism.

If you need a sugar rush, like a chocolate cake, to get through the day, then who are you to judge someone for using drugs to get through the day? Why is one addiction accepted and another isn’t? What makes your addiction better than Liam Payne’s?

What I’m trying to say is: we all have our own struggles, and we all have our own methods of coping with the things life throws at us. It’s not always the "right" way, but who are we to judge? Yes, drugs are wrong, but can we try to come from a place of understanding? No one grows up with the goal of becoming an addict, but life happens. Some trials in life put you in a dark place, and I’m sure we have all been there a time or two. Not everyone can deal with their dark space as easily as others. So let’s just be understanding and not make negative comments, judgments, or assumptions, because, in truth, we can never truly understand each other’s pain and struggles.

A lesson for me and for you, because I’m not afraid to admit that I have, in the past, been quick to judge: Let’s come from a place of compassion and understanding. We don’t know everything, even if we think we do.

On a side note, food for thought: I read somewhere about society’s distorted views on how 31 is considered "young" if you die, but "old" if you haven’t settled into a career, gotten married, and had 2.5 kids. - Let this be another lesson for us. Sc**w what society sayssince they change their minds whenever they want. Let’s just do what suits us and live at our own pace.