It's My Birthday

It's my birthday and to be frank I'm just not feeling it. 

I’m nowhere near where I want to be. Actually scrap that, I’m so lost I don’t even know where I want to be but someone I love sent me these tiktok trends where people “de-influence” you. It’s basically videos of people telling you that social media lies. That your 20s are a mess but that they are supposed to be a mess. In realty no one really ‘figures it out” but that’s supposed to be okay became like Ally Mcbeal said 

“I like being a mess, it’s who I am: The real truth is, I probably don't want to be too happy or content. Because, then what? I actually like the quest, the search. That's the fun. The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to. What do you know? I'm having a great time and I don't even know it” 

I remember 10 years ago today when I turned 18, I thought there would be a feeling of ‘I’m an adult” and while I was warned by many adults that wasn’t the case, I really thought I was right but 10 years later and I’m still not feeling like a real adult. I think we are all just children at heart and will remain so. 

So I’m going to embrace my mess (to the best of my ability.) I’m currently on my quest and i’m going to enjoy it and see where it takes me. 

I will leave you with Meredith Grey’s quote that I’m feeling today: “We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?”

On a side note: I received a bunch of beautiful flowers for my birthday but found it contained lilies so unfortunately I had to give them away due to my baby Trixie. I have heard there is a woman (I can’t remember her name) who is campaigning for all florists to make note that lilies are incredibly dangerous to cats. It will cause death and there is no cure. While all many plants are poisonous, lilies are the absolute worst. Please do not buy lilies for anyone who has a cat and please make sure you dispose of lilies properly so stray cats are not effected. 

XOXO Nina Kay